Tarfa al-Muhammad al-Bideiwi

Maher was born in 2000, and was my only son. I have eight daughters, two of whom are older than him, and six who are younger. We used to pick cotton in the Jazira region (east of the Euphrates) while my husband worked in Saudi Arabia. Maher tried repeatedly to convince his father to take him to work in Saudi Arabia, but he refused, saying that he was too young.

 

Later, Maher traveled to work in a blacksmith workshop, where his daily wage quickly reached 50 Saudi riyals. He insisted on accompanying me on Haj (pilgrimage to Mecca). I stayed in Saudi Arabia for three months before deciding to return home.

 

The following year, Maher and his father decided to visit the town of Abu Hamam. Maher was 14 at the time. During the visit, he rode his uncle’s motorbike around town, where he met a girl he liked and wanted to propose to. I began preparing for his engagement.

 

By mid-Ramadan, Maher and his father wanted to return to Saudi Arabia, but I insisted they stay so we could celebrate Eid al-Fitr together. I believed that ISIS would not harm us unless we harmed them first, but I was mistaken. They arrested several young men from my family for smoking, and subsequently executed some of them.

 

During Maher’s engagement ceremony, the Kishkiyya municipality building was attacked [by Shaitat fighters]. ISIS was expelled from the building, which they had used as a military base. People left the ceremony to offer condolences and assess the situation. My husband decided it was not the right time to leave the town.

 

Our battle with ISIS lasted 12 days. Our area was besieged, experienced heavy gunfire, and ISIS cut off our water and electricity. As the bombing intensified around us, my husband and I decided it was time to leave the area. During that period, I kept my son locked inside the house to protect him, and out of fear that he might join the fighting. I kept him inside for four days until my husband was able to secure a car, and we headed towards the town of Bahra.

 

We took shelter and slept in the car, until a car bomb was detonated close to us. This prompted us to leave, and travel towards the Jaabi neighborhood in the town of Hajin. There, we parked the car near a wall and survived without food for five days. We could not leave the car. Eventually, Maher insisted on leaving and went to the grocery store to buy us a watermelon. He asked me to heat water for him so that he could shower. He showered, fixed his hair, then left. He disappeared after that, and we did not know where he was.

 

Over the next three days, we traveled the road to Bukamal four times, in both directions, in search of Maher. Then we headed to the town of Sousa, where an old woman named Um Ayman came to us and offered her help. She made us breakfast and let my young daughters shower at her place.

 

Um Ayman offered to help me search for my son at a school where ISIS had detained some young men. Hesitantly, I went with her, but we did not find him. For an entire week, we traveled between Sousa and Jaabi looking for him. Then, we traveled to Iraq, where we showed my son’s picture to ISIS members. They told us that young men his age were typically sent to study sharia when they were arrested. I told them that I didn’t mind him studying sharia, but I wanted to see him or, at least, learn where he was, so that I knew he was okay. They refused my request and told me to leave.

 

After that, we returned to Mayadin because we knew that there was an ISIS prison there, but Maher wasn’t there either. We were told that the detainees had been transferred to a prison at the Tanak Oilfield. I wanted to go there, but no taxi drivers agreed to take me. They warned me that, if I went, I would not return.

I returned to my daughters, whom I had left at Um Ayman’s house. We found a small hut nearby, cleaned it, and settled in it. At that time, we only had a straw mat and some blankets that Um Ayman had given us. Later, local residents began offering us food and things from their homes. We stayed for three or four months, during which time my husband and I spent every day searching for Maher.

 

We heard that people were starting to return to the Shaitat after handing over rifles and magazines to ISIS, but we didn’t have the money to buy them. When locals donated a rifle and magazines to us, we registered our names to return to our home.

 

We waited a long time before ISIS confirmed that we could not return home. Despite this, we tried to go home but, after staying for a day, we received a threat that forced us to leave and return to the hut. During this time, my search for Maher continued. At one point, I heard that he had been detained at the old Sugar Company in Mayadin. When I went there, I learned that he had been executed.

 

Later in Kishkiyya, some young men came and asked to speak with my husband. They told us that they had found Maher’s body, along with twelve other young men, in Gharanij. They offered to take me to see him, but I refused. They returned, bringing me pieces of his clothing and shoes to try and convince me that he was dead. After that, I continued hearing rumours that my son was still alive, and that people could help return him in exchange for a car. 

 

Maher’s death was confirmed when his uncles identified his body. When they found him, his hands and feet were tied behind him. We think he died on August 10, 2014. We buried him without a funeral and did not announce that we had found him. I told those who had called that he was alive, and that I had seen him the day before, so that no one would come to offer their condolences.

 

I recall how Maher took me to perform Haj. He used to tell me that he would give me a new life. They [ISIS] did not let us live that life. I wanted to celebrate his marriage, so I gave gifts to the young woman he had wished to marry.